What did they say? “Hum toh ladki do kapdon mein bhi le jayenge!” And then it started with- just a double bed, where will the bride and groom sleep? And of course a wardrobe, where will the bride keep her things? Also some kilos of gold jewellery for the whole family, it’s a part of the tradition, you see. Don’t forget to add some cash- it’s for the bride’s benefit only!
You get the point, right? Arrange marriage problems? Not really. Marrying your childhood sweetheart won’t guarantee a dowry-free marriage either.
Let’s discuss how to get away with incessant and ever increasing dowry demands, fearlessly.
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First things first, talk to your family and tell them that you want a strictly no-dowry marriage. Take a mature and pragmatic approach, discuss it with them. Make sure that they know that you’re an asset to them, not a liability. If any such situation arises in the future where a dowry demand is made, you will have an agreed stand with them.
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If you’re already dating someone, tell them that you do not plan to give any dowry. If they do not agree to it, end that relationship there. If they agree, make sure that they won’t change their stance in the future.
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When you receive an arranged marriage proposal and they make a dowry demand, end that alliance immediately. No matter how harsh it might sound, it is for the good of everyone involved. Better yet, under Section 4 of the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, persons who make a demand for dowry are liable to be imprisoned for at least 6 months to 2 years!
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If you receive a demand during the wedding festivities are going on, back out. Do not negotiate, it’s a wedding not a barter. Even if it is your wedding day, call off the wedding. It’s your life; you have to live with these people forever. You don’t want to be harassed for a lifetime. Break the ‘log kya kahenge’ pattern. Set an example.
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If a dowry demand is being made after the wedding, stand up for yourself and your family, leave that place immediately. It’s never too late. These demands will gradually increase and you’ll be entrapped.
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Immediately report to the police whenever you receive a dowry demand. You don’t need to show a series of events where such demands have been made- a single instance is enough to put such people behind the bars. Along with yourself and your family, you might just save someone else from falling as a prey to their vicious schemes!
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Last but not the least- make yourself worthy enough that you don’t need to pay anyone to marry you. Never let your parents stress over your marriage. Ironically, India has a sex ratio of 940 girls per 1000 boys, so even if you reject one you’ll have plenty other options to choose from!
